Friday, January 22, 2010

How the US Government works

The Economy is so bad that...

- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

- I ordered a burger at McDonald's & the kid behind the counter asked "Can you afford fries with that?"

- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you can phone back and ask if they meant you or them?

- Hot Wheels & Matchbox stocks are trading higher than shares in GM.

- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies & had to learn their children's names again.

- A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

- Motel Six won't leave a light on anymore.

- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

- The Suicide Hotline now reroutes your calls to a call centre in Pakistan, and all they want to know is if you can drive a truck.

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The American Medical Association has finally weighed in on Obama's healthcare plan.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing..

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.