Friday, July 10, 2009

Bumper Snickers #4

  1. I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
  2. Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
  3. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
  4. Just 2 days from now tomorrow will be yesterday.
  5. Bartenders are just pharmacists with limited inventories.
  6. The next statement is true. The last statement is false.
  7. I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
  8. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
  9. Dyslexics have more nuf.
  10. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
  11. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
  12. Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
  13. Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
  14. I'm having an out-of-money experience.
  15. Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
  16. I found Jesus! He was in the trunk when I got back from Mexico.