Life Lessons

Nothing is as stressful as trying to be a different person from who you are.

Amazingly, people think the things that happen to them happen only to them.

Some men I know spend more time maintaining their lawns than they do their relationships.

The most absolute dictator's power is not as great as a typical parent's power over their child.

I still place emphasis on appearance, even though I've run across quite a few well-dressed idiots.

Three things all children should know: (i) Who's the boss; (ii) What are the rules; and (iii) Who is going to enforce them?

I firmly believe that people who work 12 hours a day should go home with a bigger loaf of bread than people who work eight.

Some ideas are so incredibly stupid that only intellectuals can believe them.

Far more often than poverty breeds crime, crime breeds poverty.

It is better to be 0 for 20 than 0 for 0.

The older I get, the more heartfelt my prayers become.         

Cats and Dogs

 Doggie Heaven?

Bumper Snickers #7

Interested readers might also consider previous Bumper Snickers in the Archive Section:
#1 (4/9/07);  #2 (4/9/07);  #3 (4/9/07);  #4 (7/10/09);  #5 (3/9/11);  #6 (3/14/11).

They call it Self Defense because you do it.

Keep Honking!   I'm reloading as fast as I can.

Seven of the ten voices in my head are saying "Don't Shoot!"

What should you feel if you kill a terrorist?  RECOIL.

A friend will help you move.  A good friend will help you move the body.

Peace through superior firepower.

A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed are the peacemakers.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Gun Control is holding the handgun in both hands.

Gun Control is being able to hit the target.

War is not the answer.  It's the solution.

I (heart) .308  

Support the right to arm bears.

Save a child.  Shoot a drug dealer.

Yeah, yeah the above are all gun related & violent.  But if the president follows his anti-2nd amendment executive-order agenda, they are timely and relevant. 

Quotable Quotes

"There are two tragedies in life.  One is not to get your heart's desire, the other is to get it."
-George Bernard Shaw

"Sculpture is what you  bump into when you back up to look at a painting."
-Ed Reinhart

"If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?"
-Solzhenitsyn

"I don't find any correlation between size and greatness."
-Woody Allen

"If you look just like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey."
-Earl Wilson

"He who requires much from himself and little from others will be secure from hatred."
-K'ung Fu-Tse

"A man who knows that he is a fool is not a great fool."
-Chuang Tzu

"When there is sugar, there are ants."
-Malayan Proverb

"Don't be afraid about people stealing an idea.  If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats."
-Howard Aiken

"He who is afraid of asking is ashamed of learning."
-Danish Proverb

"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after."
-Yugoslav Proverb

"He who knows does not speak; he who speaks does not know."
-Lao Tsu

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
-Friedrich Nietzche

"Religion without science is blind.  Science without religion is lame."
-Albert Einstein

"Any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic."
-Arthur C. Clarke

"I'm not afraid of flying.  I'm afraid of crashing."
-Neil Simon                              

New Obama Slogan

Yeah, it's a guy and a Democrat.  Has a few problems with spelling and critical thinking, but not entitlements.

More Laws & Maxims

Meade's Maxim
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.  Just like everybody else.

George Bernard Shaw's Principle
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Kipling's Konstant
If you keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you don't understand the problem.

Anthony's Ruminations
(i) Little white lies are for golfers.
(ii) Equal opportunities are for the dead.
(iii) Build a better mousetrap - if you hate cats.
(iv) Overpopulation is not a disease - it's a growth.
(v) You can't tell a book by its movie.      

Van Roy's Postulates
(i) Never whisper to the deaf and wink at the blind.
(ii) Recipe for trouble: believe all you hear and repeat it.

Vigue's Law
A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

John's Law of Collateral
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

Pipe Axiom
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Lippka's Law  
When the world falls into complete moral decay, don't be so old you can't enjoy it.

Two Thanksgiving Tenets
(i) At any given dinner where a single turkey is served, three of the guests will ask for a wing.
(ii) The job of carving a turkey is always assigned to the person least capable of carrying it out.         

More Laws and Axioms

Remember that not all the faculty has all their faculties.


You can get away with anything as long as you tell someone about it.


The grass is brown on BOTH sides of the damn fence.


A motion to adjourn is always in order.


People in groups tend to agree to things which they know individually are stupid.


Time is an illusion perpetuated by the manufacturer of space.


The Art of Diplomacy is saying "Nice doggie!" until you can find a big enough stick.


I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good lie.


Intelligence is when you can spot the flaw in your boss's reasoning. Wisdom is not pointing it out.

Axioms & Laws

Law of Accuracy
When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Berra's Law
You can observe a lot just by watching.

Sattinger's Law
It works better if you plug it in.

Naran's Law
If the answer makes sense, it's wrong.

Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage.

Cole's Axiom
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Grossman's Axiom
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.

Bumper Snickers #1

Some randomly seen bumper stickers from around the world:

Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

My karma ran over your dogma.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

I is a college graduat.

Beer isn't just for breakfast anymore.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Eschew obfuscation.

Will Rogers never met a lawyer.

It's lonely at the top but you eat better.

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Jeez if you believe honkus.

I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.

Jesus is Coming. Look busy.