Bumper Snickers #4

1. I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.
2. Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
3. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
4. Just 2 days from now tomorrow will be yesterday.
5. Bartenders are just pharmacists with limited inventories.
6. The next statement is true. The last statement is false.
7. I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
8. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
9. Dyslexics have more nuf.
10. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
11. Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
12. Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
13. Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
14. I'm having an out-of-money experience.
15. Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
16. I found Jesus! He was in the trunk when I got back from Mexico.