In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach; green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds did He create, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
But Satan, using the great gifts which God had bestowed upon him, created Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman was heard to add: "As long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they each gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
Then God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God created a light fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Food Cake," saying "It is healthy and good." Satan then created a tastier, richer dessert and called it "Devil's Food Cake."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might, by healthy exercise lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave them cable TV with a remote control device so Man would not have to toil so onerously changing channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And both Man and Woman replied, "Yes! And Super Size them!" And Man went into cardiac arrest, and Satan said, "Hey, this is good! This is very very good."
God sighed wearily and created He quadruple by-pass surgery.
And Satan created HMOs.
